| (no subject) |
[Nov. 18th, 2009|08:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  _ | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sleepyhead | ] |
Besides the fact that I am more than likely failing college, shit is good.
Mel and I are good, Tig's been less insane lately which is fucking grrreat. He's being cute now and laying on my lap and purring, it really is just precious.
The closer I get to leaving this place the more I realize how much I'm going to miss it. I'm not moping around wasting my time, trust you me, Jenady and I have been going on crazy adventures and it's great. These "adventures," for lack of a better term, are the very reason I love this place. I've made my peace with coming home, but it's hard to fill the gaping hole that will be there once these nights are no longer possible. Buffalo just can't compare to this city, no place can, actually. I am glad that Jenady and I are hanging out a lot, we were acquaintances last year and lived on the same floor but we never really talked, talked or hung out but we mesh well so it's pretty nice. I wish I could stop her from getting hurt so horribly, but people gotta make their own mistakes, I guess. I'm not taking the apathetic approach, I just know that no one ever really listens to anyone else and they've already made up their mind as to what they're going to do. As far as guys with me go...it's all just a joke. I mean, I just don't take any guy seriously anymore. I never really did, but now I just constantly call their bluff and apparently it works in my favor but I just don't care hah. I'll think a guy is nice and then in my regular fashion, be completely bored of him in a week. I don't want a relationship, just some goddamn fun, is that too much to ask? They're either looking for a wife or just too damn annoying. Ah, well, c'est la vie. Maybe I'm just not happy enough with myself so I'm just picking my way through guys, hahahah, mumbo jumbo bullshit.
I feel like there's so much chaos going on in my life but, as a person, I really like the direction I'm headed in. Mentally, at least. Academically and career-wise I am beyond fucked, there is no other way to put it. By no means do I want to drop out of college, that would obviously be the biggest mistake ever. I just really have no motivation whatsoever because I have no clue what the fuck I'm doing here. I feel like the last Undecided sophomore. I look around and everyone else is already taking the 200 and even 300 level courses for their major and I'm basically doing a lot of shitting around in some 100s and 200s and just complete nothingness of courses. I really don't think I could hate any institution more than I hate Pace University. I know it's no one else's fault but mine for fucking up, but when you write me a fucking letter to tell me you can't give me more money, don't fucking address the letter to "Birgit" and then start it with "Dear Bethany," I mean, really? Cath and Mel thought it was a mistake, but, of course they didn't mess up my UID#, they got that bad boy down perfectly. I understand that in any college, you're really nothing but a number, but Pace is NOT that big that they couldn't at least look up who's name they were sending the letter to and change the first line. "If you have anything else you need assistance with please call..." Such bullshit. Like I have said before, if you're not in the business school or the drama department, then what's the point of even being here?
I hate to leave this place, I know I'm going to have a really rough time with it once January rolls around and everyone's statuses are about going back to the city and shit. Until then, though, I'm okay with it. Home on Tuesday, actually. Sosososososososo excited. I barely got to see any of my close/North Buff friends, so that'll be good. Can't wait to see Tara and her fucking hair. Ooooo I can't wait for that embrace with her and Julia. Obviously, nothing will be able to come close to last year's, but I'm just so excited to see my best friends. It'll be weird not being 2 blocks from Tara, but the new house is 2 blocks from Julia, so I guess that's cool hah. I just miss Tara and Ben and Kelly and Julia and Mar and Chris and everyone so much and I can't wait to have that feeling I get when I'm with them. Mmm mm mmmmmmm.
Every time I talk to someone in my family, the date for us moving back home gets later and later. Originally, it was December, then Joanne said January. "No, no, February at the absolute latest....Okay, we should definitely be moved in by your birthday!" Then Catherine tells me yesterday, "Yeahhh, you guys probably won't be back until April," suuuppperrrrr. It's not that bad, though, Tremaine is right at the border of the city and beats the hell out of living in Williamsville. Catherine will be moving out in December and I am stoked for her. The place looks mad nice aaand it's only like 3 minutes from Chris on Lafayette, so that'll be convenient hahah. She thinks I won't be sleeping over all of the time, but she is severely mistaken. That apartment will be such a great excuse. I know Cath's gunna miss having me as her "slave" (pronounced sla-vay) so she'll go along with my shit.
Hmmm, I'm sure there's more I could write about, buuuuut I'm not going to.
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
the_briganat0r's journal
